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score 1

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Strategic misrepresentation

Taught by lobs | Edit Tagged as bullshit, crap, lying, strategic misrepresentation, | 0 Comments »

Providing a upside-biased non-congruent explanation of the verifiable state of affairs, engineered to positively influence the views of counter-parties, and facilitate stronger stakeholder engagement. (AKA misspeaking, bullshitting, lying). (See Bent Flyvvbjerg)

As in...
James:
'Bob, as you can see our new iFarc is a real game changer. That said, it's not just about ahead-of-the-curve hardware though, we've raised the bar with some serious value-add for your end-user! We'll provide you with bundled high level strategic misrepresentation to enable maximal engagement vis-a-vis your human capital.'

Bob:
Uh, Should there be smoke coming out of it?

James:
!!!

Bob:
???


score 79

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Beta

Taught by Lecturer Rapscallion | Edit Tagged as advanced users, application, beta, beta release, big balls in the air, big picture, code, code snippets, content, crappy website, device, facebook, facebook widget, founder, founder guy, free testing, plug and play, plug-and-play, plug-n-play, programmer lead, programming, shush, software, software, spec, startup, tech industry, test, tester, widget, | 2 Comments »

Most often found in relation to technology firms, applications, devices, and software, the "Beta release", or "Beta" for short, is an extremely powerful way to test software while not being responsible for anything at all.

As in...
Brad, the tech startup Founder guy: So, are we ready? The new Big Balls in the Air facebook widget has gotta be ready by now! I promised the public back at tech-expo 2008.1 we'd launch in November!

Harold the realistic programmer lead: Not at all. We have a crappy website, with no content, and our widget sucks. It only has 3 of the 34 functions we have been programming into it working yet.

Brad: Can the widget be downloaded as a plug and play app? What about Code Snippets for the more advanced users?

Harold: Well... yes, but...

Brad: Shush! Release it! Release it as a Beta!

Harold: But it's full of bugs, and it would take us a full year of 10 testers to get to all of the functions in the widget spec!

Brad: Exactly! Now you're getting it! Now you're seeing the big picture! We will have the millions of excited Facebook widget users test our beta for FREE! It's Brilliant!

Harold: And if they complain?

Brad: Who cares?! It's a BETA for crap's sake! No companies are ever responsible for what happens in a Beta Release!